Group Projects

The group project was okay. Overall I think it helped me learn o collaborate with others more efficiently. I will need to do this more and more as my years in college progress. This is an important tool. My group researched on the topic of REM sleep and how it affects one’s stress levels. The research I learned doing the project was very informative. One of the main things I learned is that a lack of REM sleep affects many autonomic processes. Some of the ones that are affected are emotional levels. I also enjoyed the other groups presentations. The one about hip hop today, and the presentation about music therapy were very cool. I liked the presentation so much that I want to look further into music therapy. Overall it was a cool experience. This is what I think about the group projects. This is all I have to write.

Fresman Seminar

The freshman seminar class was interesting. I did not like the class as a whole, but I can’t deny the interesting points it brought up and taught me. The class gave me a glimpse of what the rest of my years in college will be like. It helps me especially with conducting research. I am going to have to conduct a lot of research during my years in college because of the fact that I am a psychology major. One of my favorite parts of was the trip to African Burial Ground in New York City. I found it very interesting because of the ramifications of what they found at the site. It was also my first time in the city, so it was an experience that I will never forget. I also enjoyed Dr. Carr's lecture. I feel as if his lecture should have been towards the end because that way all of the other lectures would not have had to been compared to his. His was the best without a doubt. Overall, my experience in the class was okay.

Freshman Seminar: In a nutshell

Coming into Howard University, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. However, my Freshman Seminar class cleared that up for me. They gave me a taste of what my four years here will be like in only a semester. Weekly lectures have taught me things that no textbook will incorporate in their chapters and no teachers will dictate in their lectures. It has taught me how to be smart in a different way, how to use our rich past as a carriage to my future. My favorite parts of Freshman Seminar class was learning new words and traditions of Africans. One word that we have become most familiar with is "mbongi", meaning a room with no walls, or a common space to express and voice opinions for everyone to hear. I also enjoyed learning about traditions like pouring water to our ancestors, the call and response, and jumping the broom. Another one of my favorite parts of the class would have to be visiting the African Burial Ground in NY. Although an emotional scene, it was nice to get a semi-realistic feel of how Africans were treated years ago. I enjoyed listening to successful African American men and women speak about empowerment and try to encourage us to become the best we can be.Taking Freshman Seminar has helped me to take pride in my heritage. It has even pushed me to want to visit Africa and embrace the culture more. I am glad to have taken this class, but I am sad that it must come to an end so soon.

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

As a final project for the Freshman Seminar class, we were assigned to conduct a research question and answer it via a presentation, which we presented in front of a few other groups. My group, The Supreme View, chose to elaborate on the relationship between REM sleep and stress that college students experience. Over the course of a few weeks, we worked together as a group to gather research, conduct an interview, and, eventually, draw a conclusion. Our conclusion was that the amount and quality of sleep recieved and the amount of stress you experience have a two way relationship. Each one can equally effect the other. We presented on the first Wednesday of presentations and I must say I was very pleased with the organization, the speaking skills, and the work as a whole of my group. I was my pleasure to work with this group and gain the knowledge that I did along the way.
However, I did not only gain knowledge from the work that my group did, but also from the presentations of other groups. The variety and intriguing information that was presented kept my attention and left me knowing more than what I came in with. Groups touched on topics like the effects of crack cocaine on the African American community, the impact that music therapy can have on a person, the different perceptions of Blacks in the hip hop industry, and the direct relationship between minstrel shows from back in the day to hip hop today. All of these topics left me wanting to know more and I am glad I got matched up with the cohort that I did.

Jael's blog: Homecoming

I did not participate in the festivities of homecoming. I wanted to prepare my best performance ever for Solo Night at the Blackburn this Sunday night. I did very well and recieved numerous compliments on my performance. I think it may have been a good thing that I did not party hard (or did not party at all) because one of my professors gave out the hardest assignment he could muster up for this homecoming weekend. I think he did this just to see who would procrastinate due to all the festivities.

On Friday, I saw the tents on the yard and browsed a bit. I thought the selection of clothes and jewelery was very nice. I wish that I had known that there would be vendors so that I could have had a little cash to spend. On my way home I was bombarded with fliers of homecoming related parties. One of the fliers showed that there was going to be some form of sex party somewhere on or near campus where a porn star and stripper were going to battle. I truly hope that none of the guys (or girls) I know attended that party.

Though I did not party or see much other that the yard vendors, I feel that I had a nice weekend and perhaps I can do some partying when I do not have any homework.

Howard Homecoming

Howard's homecoming festivities were an experience unlike anything I ever been apart of in my life. I enjoyed it for the most part. Homecoming started off with Midnight Madness. Midnight Madness was a fun event. I did not really like any of the performances though. Howard is a tough crowd to please. I also really did not understand why people were fighting and rioting outside. I enjoyed myself nonetheless. I did not attend any of the events that cost money. I'm broke. I did go to yardfest though. Yardfest was probably the highlight of homecoming week for me. The performances were great and it was free. Big Daddy Kane really did well. Young Jeezy was cool too. I did not like Wale though. After the performances I got to meet a producer by the name of 9th Wonder. This was a really big deal for me because he's my favorite producer. He was really cool and even had a conversation with me. Homecoming was a good experience but I'm glad its over now. I'm ready to finish the semester.

The Infamous Howard Homecoming

ALUMNI. PARENTS. SORORITIES. FRATS. FANCY CARS. BANDS. CHEERLEADERS. FOOTBALL.
These were only a few things that I came across during my first homecoming at Howard.The first thing I heard when I told my peers in New Jersey that I would be attending Howard was "I'm coming to your homecoming". Urban Dictionary defines Howard's Homecoming as "an event infamous for causing an influx of fun-seeking teens [and] college students/alumni...that all of DC shuts down for an entire weekend." Personally, I do not feel that my first homecoming lived up to the hype. However, I did enjoy myself.
The first homecoming event that I attended was the comedy show. This show consisted of the radio personality, Nephew Tommy. He hosted a show that consisted of various acts that kept the crowd in laughter. This was a good way to begin my homecoming week. The next event was the fashion show. This featured a range from shirtless guys to females in full length dresses. The next day brought the event known as the celebrity basketball game. The teams were a mixture of actors, comedians, and Howard's own basketball players. The coaches were Tocarra, Olivia, and Teyana Taylor. Halftime consisted of a surprise performance from the new rapper, Future.
The homecomign game was chaotic, but the win made it worth the trouble. The crowd cheered our boys into overtime and eventually lead them to a victory. House parties were abundant. Clubs were packed. As Urban Dictionary put it, Howard shut down DC, once again!

Jael's Blog: Reflecting on College So Far

Now that I am in college I have a different goal that I had in high school. In high school I was the type of person who was accustomed to getting a 4.0, but now I find that I am not as interested in my GPA but in becoming a competent music therapist. This new goal has changed how I study and my feelings about school.

In high school I was content with the half-hearted work that I did to recieve an A. I would simply regurgitate what the teacher said in form of an answer on the test. I was more of a disciplined worker than a hard worker. My study habits have caused me to leave high school with little sustaining knowledge of the subjects I did not care of about but recieved As in. But now education in no longer a task in which I am forced to take part of but now a means to fulfill a personal dream of using my musical talents to help others. I now find myself content with recieving constructive feedback from a teacher in response to a test I failed or understanding a concept that will aid in me becoming more efficient as a therapist.

Now that I am in college I feel like I am living my future and not thinking about it.

Research and Methodology

In this week's freshman seminar class, professor Dana Williams spoke to the class about research and methodology. I learned some important things during this seminar. The first thing I learned is that before beginnig research, one should plan out their methodology. Methodology includes determining how to show your research, and how you are going to go about collecting it. One should also consider the audience that will be reading your writing. The next thing I learned deals with framework. Framework is how you decide to structure your data. This is important because different types of data require different representations, such as graphs or pie charts. Lastly I learned that in college, students are giving the opportunity to present new data instead of sumerizing things all of the time. This is important because new research should confirm or deny previous findings and expand on those concepts. Dr. Williams' seminar was very informative.

Newark

The year of 1916 started a phenomenon that once started, could not be stopped. This phenomenon is known as The Great Migration. Until 1970, African Americans from the South packed their belongings and headed to the North in search of a new opportunistic life. Southern Blacks yearned to escape the Jim Crow Laws of the South that disallowed them the rights that the North allowed. Six million Blacks took advantage of this trending movement and made the North their new home. Specifically, Blacks settled in cities like Chicago, Baltimore, New York City, Washington DC, and Newark, NJ. These cities were eventually overflowing with Blacks who were trying to make a living with either: 1) the little pay they were receiving from their jobs or 2) no job at all. Cities like this began to become overcrowded and filled with people living in poverty. This is the start of what we know as the “ghettos”.

Growing up in Newark, NJ, I have always looked around and wondered how we got where we are today. Studying the Great Migration in my classes have given me new insight and a new appreciation for my hometown.

Jael's blog on The African Burial Ground

The trip to New York to see the African Burial Ground was life changing. I grew up in a predominantly African American community and the first school I had attended was an afro-centric Christian academy and therefore the trials and tribulations of slavery and the middle passage was nothing new to me. However, on the trip, specifically during the liabation ceremony, I was exposed to how other people have come to grips with their own blackness. I chose to not participate in the liabation ceremony by repeating the words and clapping my hands because many aspects of the ritual was contrary to my own spiritual beliefs. This experience catapulted me into maturity because I forced myself to respect the sacredness the ritual held for others while still standing my ground.

Later on when we were allowed to experience Harlem for four hours without chaperones I was able to excercise more adult maturity. Time management and social discretion was key in a strange and busy city. There was a situation where a man walked around whispering in people's ear "new movies, new movies". If I was the type of person who was interested in getting a "good deal" on bootleg movies, it could have ended very bad for me provided I was caught during the transaction or the man was an undercover police officer. I doubt the police officers would release me in time to catch the bus back to Howard University.

The trip to New York was very good for me. It strengthened my self-concept.

Jael's Blog on "Miss Ever's Boys"

I was absolutely blown away by the performance of the actors in Howard's "Miss Ever's Boys" production. I was already somewhat familiar with the goings on of the Tuskegee experiment and so the historical backbone of the play did not move me as much as the actors' interpretion of their characters. I was shocked just going into the Ira Cambridge theatre because I did not realize so many people would attend. I arrived twenty minutes early because I was informed by one of the set workers that they had over sold tickets on Wednesday. To see so many Howard students supporting the arts was amazing, expecially since I had come from a high school where students were not even aware that we had an art program and opted to only attend the athletic events. But anyway, that actors did a great job, especially the actress who played Miss Ever's. At the end of the play many people stood up and clapped for a long time but I did not because I was in awe of the great performance.

Ms. Evers' Boys

This Wednesday, the theatre arts students at Howard University hosted a play called Ms. Evers Boys. Too much of my peers' surprise, the play was very intriguing and kept our attention the entire play. The play was a unique tie between deception and love.

The play starred a woman by the name of Ms. Evers, who was a nurse fighting the spread of the sexually transmitted disease, syphilis. She specifically works on a group of boys who were determined to pursue their passion as a musical group. This group won contests and were on at an all time high. They showed their appreciation to Nurse Evers by calling themselves "Ms. Evers' Boys". Then a white doctor, Dr. Douglas, came along who was very accepting of the group, and the group came to trust him. He drew their blood to test for the epidemic in their community, syphilis, and as it turns out, they all had it. Nurse Evers' and Dr. Douglas have a meeting with a black doctor who convinces them to use these boys as the subjects to their experiment. They would use these boys are the control group, meaning they would leave them with the disease, and treat the others in the community to examine the difference.

Years later, the effects of the illness began to kick in on the dancer, Willie. Willie's leg began to give out on him and he was having a hard time dancing. Even with his determination and inspiration from his grandfather, his dancing wasn't the same. It was then that it hit the boys that they needed penicillin, but Ms. Evers convinced the boys that that would be a bad idea and might send them to an early grave. As the effects got worst, one member of the group, Caleb, decided that he wanted the penicillin anyway and got it at a local clinic, while the remaining members listened to Ms. Evers.

Things continued to get worse and Benjamin died from the disease, while Hodman died from ingesting mold that he was convinced would make him feel better. Willie was no longer able to walk without a cane, while Caleb was doing perfectly fine. When Caleb informed Willie on the experiment, Willie approached the doctors and made them realize how they had ruined his life, and took away the one thing he loved the most -dancing. No apologies of monetary compensation could make up for the damage the doctors had done to their boys, both mentally and physically.

Knowledge is Power

This week's speaker, Leslie Fenwick, introduced the class with a questionnaire that she has given students before. The questionnaire asked questions like "What percentage of crack cocaine users are white?" and "What subgroup of twelfth graders deem drug use unacceptable?" The answers amongst the class varied. The people we were sure about their answers were wrong, and very few were correct. The point of this questionnaire was to prove to ignorance of college freshman to their community, as well as to inform us on the information that we should know.

The facts were shocking. As it turns out, sixty-eight percent of crack cocaine usage is among whites, and seventy-two percent of powder cocaine usage is among whites. This question shows the under estimation of our people in society because people a quick to refer to blacks as "crackheads" and "crack babies". Another fact is that mostly African American twelfth graders deem drug use unacceptable; In addition, African American males tend to score higher on the SAT (and other standardized tests) than African American females. This raises another question in our society that continues to go unanswered. If boys are scoring higher on these tests, why are they underrepresented in college?

A lot of people, black or white, like to blame the downfall of today's society on African Americans. However, these people fail to know the facts of their community. We have to teach our young children the FACTS, so that we can push against misconception in our country.

Freshman Seminar 10-9

This week’s freshman seminar class featured a guest speaker whos name I do not remember. She is a familiar face from around campus though. Her topic was about how black people are misrepresented in statistics and stereotypes. Three key points from the lecture were the facts that only eleven percent of principals in the United States are black, black males do better than black females on the SAT, and the fact that black 12^th graders are less likely to do drugs.

The first point that stuck with me is that 11 % of principals in America are black. I was surprised and disappointed by how little the percentage of principals that are black are. It makes sense though. Throughout my public school career, I never had a black principal. On the other hand, while 11 percent may not be many, I feel that it’s a significant amount. I expect that number to increase in the future.

The second point that stuck out to me was that black males do better on the SAT test than white males. This was surprising because they are more females attending Howard than males. This statistic is quite interesting but is never spoken about. You always hear about how more black males are in prison than college, or other degrading statistics. I think if information like this was publicized, it would help reverse some of the negative stereotypes that black males face.

The last point that caught my attention was that black 12^th graders were less likely to do drugs than any other race. I was not surprised by this statistics, but rather my classmates’ reactions. I believed this to be true because a good portion of my black friends in high school never did drugs including myself. A lot of my friends from other races did drugs though. I think the classes reaction showed one of the negative stereotypes about us blacks that we also play into.

This week’s freshman seminar class relates to other because it described problems in the black community and what we can do to fix them just like the other classes.

Miss Ever's Boys

Miss Evers' Boy's was a really good play. It told the story the Tuskegee experiment. The study was done to show the affects of the treatment of syphilis. It was also to determine whether there was a difference in the way African Americans and Caucasians responded to the disease. It followed a group of four men that participated in the study. The men were treated for by a nurse name Miss Evers. Initially, the men were getting treatment, but once the government discovered penicillin, the men were not treated. This is because the government wanted to see the effects of untreated syphilis. The men were given placebos and made to think they were really getting treated. The doctors attempted to justify by saying that the would help the black people as a whole. The government made then sacrifices. In the end, two of the patients die, and two survive because they went against the governments orders and received penicillin shots. I thought the play was excellent. It really demonstrated how cruel research methods used to be. Being a psychology major, I was reminded by this play why certain ethical guideline are supposed to be followed when conducting studies. Overall this play was great.

The power of knowledge

This weeks speaker was so refreshing , and a joy to hear from. The pop quiz she gave us was so informative and eyeopening. Who knew that we would be the ones turning down drugs ? Who knew that black males scored higher on the SAT than black females ? . it was a nice change to hear something positive about our people , it made me so proud to be black , as usual. However her message behind the pop quiz was more powerful than the facts itself , educating ourselves. Not just in the classroom but on the facts about our people , if we know the truth was can prove the false once produced to keep stereotypes alive null and void. We have to know the good and the bad about our people because in order to change something you have to have your facts straight . She just reiterated what Dr. Carr had said in a previous lecture , education is never for yourself but to use for the advancement of your people !

Miss Evers' Boys

Having had some prior history on the subject of the play i didnt exepect to many surprises. My brother , a psychology major at Texas Southern University , told me all about the experiment and how the goverment was underhanded. When he was telling me about it i didnt really understand how the goverment could just get away with such an act , it was quite disturbing. So when i came to the play , i was ready and prepared or so i thought. It was one thing hearing about the story but seeing it played out in the lives of real people was so heart wrenching. We dont realize how much we take freedoms for granted , how one person can do that to another human being is repulsive. How dare someone infect someone else under false pretenses , what justification can one have for doing such a horrendous thing. Its sad how they kept us from having an education so that they can do dirty acts such as the one miss evers' boys had to endure. However there is a way to fight back , more powerful than guns and violence and prtoests. We can fight back by educating ourselves and doing something and productive with our lives. No one can trick , or fool us if we have knowledge to know better and stand up for ourselves. If we make a concious decisions to take our education seriously so that we can defy sterotypes and stray from statistcs , we can change mindsets . If we take ourselves seriously and support one another in this effort , the sky is the limit for what we can accomplish.

Jael's blog on Dr. Finwick's lecture

Dr. Finwicks lecture aimed to explain that it is our responsibility as scholars to be aware of our community. She gave us a pop quiz at the beginning of her lecture to test our knowledge of statistics. When she gave us the correct answers I was completely shocked because some of these statistics were so contradictory from my personal experiences. Leaving the seminar I pondered for hours on what these statistics meant. I talked to a few people and have come to the conclusion that statistics were only numbers that could be manipulated and be made to say anything that one pleased. Those who are surveyed may blatantly lie and thus skew the survey result or the surveyor may ask the question in a broad manner leading to a vague answer that is unrepresentative of the actual goings on. This is not to say that Dr. Finwick lectured with intention to decieve the students but to say the nature of statistics are decietful. Because statistics are unreliable we should not create policies based on them. Policies should be based on ethical treatment of all including minority subgroups. For example, the UCLA School of Law estimates that 3.8% of Americans identify as a member of the LGBT group. This may or may not follow suit with ones experiences (it certaintly did not with mine) but the small percentage should not be used to justify the exclusion of the LGBT population of humane treatment.

My Trip to the African Burial Ground

When I was informed that my Freshman Seminar class would be attending the African Burial Ground in Manhattan, NY, I was excited. Thoughts like "Oh, a free trip to New York" and "This should be interesting" bombarded my mind. However, I would not have gotten the effect of this monument by just reading it out of a book. This was something I had to experience and I am glad I did. Waking up at the crack of dawn and sitting on a bus for four hours was worth it.
Upon arrival to the burial ground, everyone was so excited about the infamous Manhattan. However, the attention was quickly redirected when we were brought to the burial site and got to see the graves of a few Africans. Dr. Carr lead a speech that included a ritual that involved pouring to the graves of our ancestors. We then took a tour of the monument that had inscriptions of a quote on one side and a map of the burial site on the other. It was then that we were informed of how unappreciated we are as a race in America because we saw the little space that the landmark was allotted compared to the rest of the site in which buildings were built on top of. We then stood in an enclosure that took the form a slave ship. Inside we all packed in to get the full effect of how packed Africans were in slave ships. We explored the symbols that we inscribed on the walls and analyzed the meaning. Once inside, we watched a movie on the hardships of being a slave and how African lives were not valued. We then explored an exhibit that taught the rules that governed slaves, the chores that slaves had to do, and the most touching exhibit, pictures of the remains of the African that were uncovered for study.
One thing that fascinates me is that I lived in Newark, New Jersey, which is thirty minutes from New York City and predominantly black community. However, I have never even heard of the African Burial Ground. This is a problem for me because I do not feel that my community is being informative enough about the history of our people. This African descendant community has worked hard to conserve this space for generations like me own, I feel that we should all cease this opportunity. I appreciate Howard University for embarking me on this journey, not only physically but mentally as well.

The Eloquence of the Scribes

The legacy of Howard is a rigorous one to keep up with. Many great philosophers have worked hard to build the legacy that we are now blessed to be apart of as the freshman class. As students at Howard University, there are many expectations to be met and accomplishments to be made. To become "the best and the brightest" of Howard University, you must first and foremost set goals for yourself. You have to find out what you want to be and how you want to go about doing so. When I came to Howard, I already had a set goal about what I wanted to do and how I wanted to go about doing so. In college, you have to dodge the distractions and keep your eye on the prize.
To be a citizen of the world does not only mean to live in it. It means that you are playing your part and using yourself and your knowledge to better the world. Doing things like community service and volunteer work and even doing your job, as a doctor or a student, makes you a citizen of the world. The citizenship of this nation includes the freedom of speech, which we as Howard students are known to take advantage of. Just being a part of Howard University inspires me to take advantage of my citizenship.
A representative speaker at Howard University is Dr. Carr. Dr. Carr is an inspirational speaker and uses his knowledge to teach future generations how to do the same. His life work inspires me to take the education that I am recieving as a student in The Mecca and pass it on the future to make the world a better place.

Continuing the Legacy of Howard University.

This week’s speaker, Dr. Alvin Thornton spoke on the topic of continuing the legacy of Howard University. This week’s lecture aimed to make us students fully aware of Howard’s tradition, remind us of the high expectations of this institution, our ancestors, and future generations that they continue the legacy. Dr. Thornton’s lecture made reflect upon why I chose Howard, and what I plan to do here. I would like to become a part of the best and the brightest here at Howard. To do this, I plan on excelling in all things I participate in. I will excel in my academics and extracurricular activities. Another thing the lecture made me think about is what it means to be a citizen of the world. To be a citizen of the world means to be aware of the things that are going on within it. It also means that you define yourself in a way that connects you to the people of the world. Now that I know what being a world citizen is, I feel that I will be able to become one. The last main thing I took away from the lecture was the notion that I have to make a difference in the world, just like many Howard graduates before. A Howard alumni I identify with is Sean Combs aka Diddy. He inspires me to make a difference because he did so at such a young age and in a major way. He also inspires me because we are both involved in the music industry. Though he did not graduate Combs displayed the ability to make an impact on the world, like many other Howard alumni. I too plan to do the same. This is what I took away from Dr. Thornton’s lecture.

Jael's post: Asking Questions

Dr. Alvin Thorton spoke on many different topics but he would continually come back to what seemed to be the heart of his lecture; it is our responsibiltiy as Howard University students to question our nation. This goes back to an earlier lecture on how all of our acquired knowledge should be made relevant to solving the problems in the human condition.

Dr. Thorton compared us students to the "talented tenth". The talented tenth is the idea formed by W.E.B DuBOis that in every group of people there is a minority that has been called to lead. DuBois spoke of the talented tenth to assert how the talented tenth in the black race was just as capable as the talented tenth in any other race and to propose how the talented tenth should be trained for their leadership positions. However, it must be remembered that the talented tenth is only a tenth, and their talents and resulting positions of authority are not any more important than the talents and positions of others but they serve as a different function. Also, I think that it is even a smaller minority that is called to address more than one problem in the world and the majorit of the talented tenth may have only a calling toward one specific area.

Growing up I might have been recognozed as a member of the talented tenth. My test scores would often cause me to be isolated in "gifted" classes and I later graduated salutatorian of my high school. But I dissappointed many when I chose my field of study; music (music therapy). Some people, especially my counselor, thought that I was wasting my talents by not committing

my energies to becoming a doctor or lawyer (stereotypical positions of the intelligent). But I was called to ask a different question that is asked by few. The question is whether the practice of music being used as organized therapy can be used in the mainstream. It is a good question because we now live in an age where people are constantly being diagnosed with more diseases than ever before and the drigs being used to treat these illnesses are becoming more potent. I believe that the American population could very well be overmedicated and alternative therapies should be the big talk.

My music therapy teacher is a good thinker. Her teaching style involves her asking us questions that can not necessarily be answered by the book. She has inspired me to put myself in the position of a potential patient and imagine what they might be feeling during an excercise.

Convocation

On Friday I attended an event called Convocation. I really did not know what to expect prior to attending. Once I got seated inside the auditorium, I was immediately reminded of my high school graduation. There were important people in color robes and also an orchestra. I was excited about the song the orchestra preformed because they played a song I recognized. Once the colors were presented and the performance was over, or schools president spoke. He introduced the guest speaker. The convocation orator was Michael L. Lomax, Ph.D. Dr. Lomax . He serves as the CEO and President of the United Negro College Fund. His main message to everyone was that we all must give back to the university’s that helped us. He said that only eleven percent of graduates give back to the hbcu they graduated from. He also said that as students, we are customers of the university. As customers we also have the right to take our business elsewhere. After his speech I felt motivated to continue on my college journey.